A Road Rover Christmas Carol
by McCracken
Summary: A Road Rovers twist on this classic Christmas tale.


"A Road Rover Christmas Carol"  
  
By: McCracken  
  
Road Rovers, MIB and anything that invole them are property of Warner Bros. The Galaxy Rovers,   
and the crew of the Space Rover 2, and the Lone Dog Team are property of Kristen Coughlan.  
Strayers are property of Steven Today. Huntress, Duke, and Canis are property of Greywolf Lupous.  
L33T Team, Bobcat Strayers, and Phantom Canine are property of McCracken. 'A Christmas Carol' is property  
of Charles Dickins. Everyone I haven't mentioned belong to other ppl that I didn't mention.  
  
Cast:  
  
Exile - Ebenezer Scrooge  
Hunter - Bob Cratchit  
Colleen - Sara Cratchit  
Lucky - Tiny Tim  
Rebel - Scrooge's Nephew Fred  
Bud & Shag - Charity Collectors  
Krista - Clara (Fred's Wife)  
Blitz - Rober Marley  
Napoleon - Scrooge's School's Headmaster  
Corelone - Mr. Fuzzywig  
Diamond - Belle  
Vixy - Ghost of Christmas Past  
Taco (in giant form) - Ghost of Chirstmas Present  
???? - Ghost of Chirstmas Future  
CJ - Random Boy  
Kouv & XL766 - Has Themselves  
  
Setting: Busy snow covered London Street. XL766 and Kouv are working a "Apples and Cheese" stand.  
  
XL766 (Annoyed)  
Jeez Kouv, how are we suppose to make any money if you keep on eating the merchandise??  
  
Kouv  
Calm down, we can sell other things besides apples and cheese.  
  
XL766 (Annoyed)  
Sell things besides apples and cheese?!? THIS IS A F******* APPLES AND CHEESE STAND! WE'RE  
SUPPOSE TO SELL ONLY APPLES AND CHEESE! PEOPLE COME TO THIS STAND TO BUY  
ONLY APPLES AND CHEESE NOT ANYTHING ELSE!  
  
A man walks up to the stand.  
  
Man (Britsh Accent)  
Uh, hello, are you selling livers?  
  
XL766 (Confused)  
Livers? This is an apples and cheese stand, why would we have livers?  
  
Man  
Oops, well in that case, can I buy a pineapple?  
  
XL766 (Confused)  
Why would we have pineapples if this is an apples and cheese stand?  
  
Man  
Well, a pineapple is a bloody apple isn't it?  
  
XL766 (Mad)  
Go away.  
  
The man walks off.  
  
Kouv  
I'm telling you man, if we would just sell....  
  
XL766  
Shut up!  
  
XL766 and Kouv realize the camera is on.  
  
XL766  
Oops, umm, welcome to the Road Rovers presentation of the Charles Dickins' classic, "A Christmas Carol".  
Because of what just happened, I would like to apologize to all children and blind people. With that being  
said let's continue.  
  
Kouv  
Before we get too far into this, let me start off by saying, Robert Marley was has dead as a door nail.  
  
XL766 (Sarcastic)  
And you guys complain about me being violent.  
  
Kouv  
What? That's how it starts off.  
  
XL766  
It was sarcasism Kouv. Anyway, when Marley died, Scrooge took over the loan company. Also, Scrooge is a very  
cold hearted man.  
  
Kouv (Sarcastic)  
And you're not?  
  
XL766  
Don't make me shove an apple up your ass. But going on with the story, Scrooge should be coming aroud the  
corner right now.  
  
Exile walks into the scene.  
  
Kouv  
Wow, you're good.  
  
XL766 (Smug)  
No, I just read the script.  
  
Exile walks by the stand.  
  
Kouv  
Apple sir?  
  
Exile  
Nyet, go get real jobski.  
  
Exile continues on.  
  
Kouv  
Talk about your jackasses.  
  
XL766 (Leaving the stand)  
Like I said, Scrooge is a heartless person.  
  
Kouv (Confused)  
Where are you going?  
  
XL766  
We're the narrators remember?  
  
Kouv  
Oh yeah.  
  
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's Loan Company. A sign on the door reads "Scrooge & Marley" but the snow has  
covered up "Scrooge". Exile walks up to it and knocks the snow off with his cane.  
  
Exile  
Ah Marley, seven years ago today you left me with the companyski. Ha ha ha ha.  
  
Exile walks in. XL766 and Kouv look in from a window.  
  
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Loan Company. Exile walks to the back and passes by Hunter.  
  
Hunter  
Merry Chirstmas Sir.  
  
Exile  
Chirstmas, ba humbugski.  
  
XL766 (From outside)  
Ah, Bob Cratchit. Scrooge's book keeper and his only employee.  
  
Kouv  
Why is that?  
  
XL766  
Because he's the only one stupid enough to work for him.  
  
Hunter  
Hey, I heard that!  
  
There's a knock at the door and Rebel walks in with a wreath in his hand.  
  
Kouv  
Who's that?  
  
XL766  
That would be Scrooge's newphew, Fred, his only living relative. Didn't read the script?  
  
Kouv  
No.  
  
Rebel  
Merry Chirstmas Uncle!  
  
Exile  
Chirstmas, ba humbugski!  
  
Rebel  
Surely you can't be serious about that Uncle.  
  
Exile  
Anyone who goes around saying "Merry Christmasski" should be roasted indside his own turkey!  
  
Rebel  
On the contrary, anyone who goes around saying "Merry Christmas" should be honored.  
  
Exile (Annoyed)  
I will keep Christmasski the way I want to!  
  
Rebel  
And I shall do the same Uncle.  
  
There's another knock at the door and Bud and Shag enter.  
  
Exile  
Who are youski?  
  
Bud  
We are from Victoria's Collection Agency. Every year, hundreds of poor and homeless people cannot celebrate  
Christmas due to financial problems. We're here to collect donations for them.  
  
Exile (Confused)  
Aren't there prisons and poorhouses?  
  
Bud  
Well yes of course there are sir, but we're here to give them other options.  
  
Rebel  
Well you two came to the right place. Scrooge here loves to donate to charity.  
  
Exile (Annoyed)  
Aren't there other places for you to goski?  
  
Rebel  
Sadly, yes. Oh uncle, I was wondering if you would like to join me and Clara for dinner tomorrow night?  
  
Exile  
Marriage, the only thing that makes less sense than Christmas.  
  
Rebel  
Well sorry for falling in love Uncle. I guess you won't be joining us?  
  
Exile  
At least you can guess goodski.  
  
Rebel  
Well in that case, I'll make my donation (Rebel hands some money to Shag) and leave.  
  
Rebel turns towards the door.  
  
Hunter  
Merry Christmas Fred.  
  
Rebel  
Merry Christmas Bob.  
  
Rebel hangs the wreath up on the door and leaves.  
  
Bud  
Now about that donation, how much should I put you down for?  
  
Exile  
Nyet!  
  
Bud  
Oh, you want to be unamed.  
  
Exile  
Nyet, I want to be left aloneski!  
  
Bud  
But what about the poor?  
  
Exile  
They can go to the prisons and poorhouses.  
  
Bud  
But they'd rather die then go to there.  
  
Exile (Mad)  
Well then let them die, it will lower the surplus population!  
  
Shag jumps behind Bud and whines.  
  
Bud  
Well then, come along. We won't be recieving any donations from Mr. Scrooge.  
  
Bud and Shag leave. There's another knock at the door. Exile walks up and opens up the door. CJ is on the  
door stoop singing.  
  
CJ (Singing)  
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy  
New.....  
  
Exile slams the door and notices the wreath. Exile grabs it and opens the door again. CJ looks surprised. Exile  
throws the wreath out the door and nails Buddy with it. Exile once again slams the door.  
  
Hunter  
Umm sir.  
  
Exile  
WHAT NOW?  
  
Hunter  
It's closing time.  
  
Exile looks at the clock.  
  
Exile  
So you are right Bob. I'll see you tomorrow at 6.  
  
Hunter  
But tomorrow is Christmas Day sir.  
  
Exile  
Fine then, 6:30.  
  
Hunter  
Thirty minutes is hardly customary for Christmas Day.  
  
Exile  
Well then, tell meski, what is customary?  
  
Hunter  
The whole day sir.  
  
Exile  
The whole day?!?  
  
Hunter  
Well, other businesses will be closed tomorrow, there will be no one to do business with.  
  
Exile  
Well, seeing how Christmas is a useless holiday, and I'm the only to see that, I guess you can have the whole  
day off.  
  
Hunter (Excited)  
Thank you sir!  
  
Exile  
But I want you to come in at 5 the morning after.  
  
Hunter  
I will sir, and Merry Christmas.  
  
Hunter picks up his stuff and leaves.  
  
Exile  
Christmas, ba humbugski!  
  
Setting: Cold Street in London. It's now night and Exile is getting off of a trolley. XL766 and Kouv are walking  
behind the trolley.  
  
Kouv (Shivering)  
Why couldn't we take a trolley?  
  
XL766  
Because that would be too noticible, now quit you're whining. Anyway, Scrooge lived in an old house that  
his business partner Robert Marley once lived in. Now, I ask you once more to remember that Rober Marley  
was dead and decaying in his grave....  
  
Kouv (Disgusted, eating an apple)  
Hey, I'm trying to eat here.  
  
XL766 (Continuing and ignoring Kouv)  
If you forget that, then you're pretty dumb and the rest of this requires way more intelligence than you have.  
  
Exile walks up to the door. A sudden breeze blows by. The door knocker is slowly replaced by Blitz's face. Exile  
looks shocked.  
  
Blitz  
Sccccccccccrrrrrrrroooooggggeeee....  
  
Blitz's face disappears.  
  
Exile  
Humbugski.  
  
Exile opens up the door.  
  
XL766  
To say that Exile wasn't thinking "What the hell?" would be incorrect.  
  
XL766 and Kouv walks towards the door, but Exile slams it in XL766's face.  
  
Kouv (Eating an apple)  
Guess he doesn't want us to come in.  
  
Setting: Inside Scrooge's House. Exile is walking up a dark staircase, holding out a candle to see.  
  
XL766 (Voice only)  
Desipte what happened at the door, Scrooge continued on in the dark. The dark was cheap, and Scrooge liked it.  
  
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's House. XL766 and Kouv are standing by the door.  
  
Kouv (Confused, eating an apple)  
Whoa, how do you know what's going on in there, when we're out here?  
  
XL766 (Annoyed)  
I'm a narrator, I have omnipotent powers. I see all and know all.  
  
Kouv (Defensive, eating an apple)  
Well excuse me, almighty god-like figure.  
  
XL766 (Ignoring Kouv)  
However, to conduct a proper search, Scrooge had to light all of the lamps.  
  
The lights begin to come on in side the house.  
  
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Bedroom. Exile is looking around and stops.  
  
Setting: Inside Scrooge's Bedroom. Exile is now sitting in front of a fireplace, eating some cheese. A bell  
by the fireplace rings once. Exile pays no attention to it. The bell begins to ring once more and Exile looks  
confused at it. The bell stops and Exile goes back to eating cheese. The bell starts to ring and continues. The  
clock tolls 12. The fire stops and an eeire smoke rises out of the staircase in his room. Exile slowly turns towards  
it and then Blitz (in ghost form with chains tied on him) appears.  
  
Exile (Confused, Scared)  
Who are you?  
  
Blitz  
In life I was you're business partner Robert Marley.  
  
Exile (Trying to reassure himself)  
Don't be weird boy. You're dead.  
  
Blitz (Annoyed)  
STOP CALLING ME THAT! CAN'T YOU SHOW A BIT OF MERCY TOWARDS THE DEAD?!?!  
  
Exile  
Not when they're weird boy.  
  
Blitz (Calming down)  
Well, don't you want to ask me about the chains around me?  
  
Exile  
No, but I do want you to get outski!  
  
Blitz (Ignoring Exile)  
Their my chains that I forged during my actions and greed in life, but their nothing compared to the chains you'll  
be wearing once you die.  
  
Exile (Confused)  
What do you meanski?  
  
Blitz  
You're greed will create chains for you to wear once you die. However, I'm here to give you a second chance.  
  
Exile (Relieved)  
Phew.  
  
Blitz  
You will be haunted by three ghosts tonight.  
  
Exile (Scared)  
Three?!? One's just enough.  
  
Blitz (Leaving)  
Expect the first ghost when the clock tolls one.  
  
Blitz leaves and everything returns to the way it was.  
  
Setting: Outside of Scrooge's House. XL766 and Kouv are standing by the door.  
  
XL766  
And with that, Scrooge was left in his room, alone once more.  
  
Kouv (Concerned, eating an apple)  
Hey, this is some pretty scary stuff, shouldn't we worry about some kid reading this?  
  
XL766  
Nah, it's culture.  
  
Kouv (Handing his apple out to XL766)  
Oh. Want an apple?  
  
XL766 just stares at his stupidity. Kouv looks at XL766 for a few seconds and then sarcatically kisses him on  
the nose.  
  
Setting: Gate to Scrooge's backyard. XL766 is already in Scrooge's back yard and Kouv is climbing up the gate.  
  
Kouv  
Are you sure this is ok?  
  
XL766  
Hey, you did want to see what was going on inside didn't you?  
  
Kouv  
Well, yeah, but this is breaking and entering.  
  
XL766  
Hey, it's 19th century Brition, there's a lot worse going on right now then this.  
  
Kouv  
Oh, yeah?  
  
XL766  
I mean, come on here, Jack the Ripper is out there killing whores like it's is job.  
  
A shifty man runs by the gate laughing.  
  
Kouv  
You want to do something about that?  
  
XL766 (Sarcastic)  
Nah, we're busy right now. We'll hunt him down with a Howitzer later. No quit stalling and jump.  
  
Kouv  
But I'll hurt myself!  
  
XL766  
No you won't, I'll catch you.  
  
Kouv  
Promise?  
  
XL766  
Promise.  
  
Kouv  
Ok, here I go.  
  
Kouv jumps off the gate. XL766 opens up his arms towards him, but something distracts him.  
  
XL766  
Oooh, a hay penny!  
  
XL766 picks up the hay penny and Kouv crashes into the snow. XL766 looks over at Kouv (who's looking  
really annoyed)  
  
XL766 (Blunt)  
Oops.  
  
Kouv  
Oh man, I left my apple on the other side of the gate.  
  
XL766 (Under his breath)  
Thank god.  
  
Kouv walks over to the gate and bites off a large section of it. Kouv then walks through the gate, grabs his apple,  
and walks back. XL766 just stares at him.  
  
Kouv (Confused)  
What?  
  
XL766 (Annoyed)  
You could bite through that gate the entire time?  
  
Kouv  
Well, yeah.  
  
XL766 continues to stare at him.  
  
Kouv (Confused)  
What?  
  
XL766 (Mad, turning away)  
You're a complete idiot.  
  
Kouv (Confused)  
What? What did I do?  
  
Setting: Side of Scrooge's house. XL766 sets a ladder up to Scrooge's window and him and Kouv climb up it.  
  
Kouv (Scared)  
You know, someone could really break something up here.  
  
XL766 (Annoyed)  
Come on, we're almost there.  
  
Setting: Inside of Scrooge's Room. The clock tolls one. Exile opens up an eye and looks around the room.  
Nothing happens. Exile shrugs and rolls over.  
  
Setting: Side of Scrooge's House. Same as before.  
  
XL766 (Shouting)  
Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one!  
  
Kouv  
You're going to wake him up.  
  
XL766  
He's suppose to wake up.  
  
Kouv  
Oh, my bad.  
  
Setting: Inside of Scrooge's Room. A blinding light fills the room and Vixy appears.  
  
Exile (Confused)  
Are you the spirit I was foretold about?  
  
Vixy  
Yes, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.  
  
Exile  
Humbug, we'll live the past where it belongski.  
  
Exile rolls over and falls back asleep.  
  
Vixy (To herself)  
You know, maybe I went about this the wrong way.  
  
Vixy walks up to Exile and kicks him out of bed. Exile looks shocked.  
  
Vixy (Mad)  
I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past, mess with me and I'll kick your ass! (Calming down) Now, let's begin, I only  
have you until the clock tolls two, and I need to show you all the places you totally screwed up.  
  
Vixy walks up to the window and opens it revealing XL766 and Kouv on the ladder.  
  
Vixy (Happy)  
Hey guys.  
  
XL766 & Kouv  
Hi.  
  
Vixy  
You guys are the narrators right?  
  
XL766  
Well I am, Kouv's been slacking.  
  
Vixy (Sarcastic)  
You don't say. Well, I got to use this window, so out you go!  
  
Vixy gently pushes on the ladder, causing the ladder to fall backwards with Kouv and XL766 on it.  
  
Vixy (Turning back towards Exile)  
Now that we've taken care of that, let's go.  
  
Exile (Confused)  
But I can't flyski.  
  
Vixy  
Don't worry, a touch of my hand and you'll be able to fly.  
  
Exile grabs Vixy's hand and they fly out the window.  
  
Setting: Scrooge's backyard. XL766, Kouv, and the ladder are lying on the ground.  
  
XL766  
I really do hate that fox.  
  
The ladder begins to float up and fly towards Vixy. XL766 jumps up and hangs it, flying with it.  
  
Kouv  
Hey, wait for me!  
  
Kouv jumps and hangs on to XL766's leg. Up ahead of Vixy and Exile is a bright light.  
  
Exile  
Spirit, what's that up aheadski?  
  
Vixy  
You'll find out in a sec.  
  
Exile and Vixy fly into the light. XL766 and Kouv (holding onto the ladder) follow in.  
  
Setting: School House in the past. Vixy and Exile land next to it. XL766 and Kouv land in a snow bank.  
  
Kouv (Concerned)  
XL766, are you ok?  
  
XL766 (Unphased)  
Infront of Scrooge was his old school house.  
  
Setting: Inside school house. A young Exile is writing on some paper. Two other young Cano-Sapines run by.  
  
Cano-Sapien #1 (Excited)  
Come on Ebenezer, it's Christmas!  
  
Young Exile (Mad)  
Who cares about stupid old Christmaski anyway?  
  
Cano-Sapien #2 (Excited)  
Suit yourself!  
  
Vixy and Exile walk in.  
  
Vixy  
Does he look familiar?  
  
Exile  
Of course he doeski, he's me!  
  
XL766 and Kouv look in through the window. Has Exile continues to write, he slowly grows older until he  
becames about 19. Napoleon walks in.  
  
Napoleon (Thick Frence Accent)  
Bonjour Scrooge.  
  
Young Exile  
Hello headmaster.  
  
Vixy  
Do you remember him?  
  
Exile  
Of course, he was my headmaster. I learned everything from him.  
  
Napoleon  
Well, today you begin your quest into BUSINESS. Ah, I remember when I first went into BUSINESS. Then those  
damn Brits and Austrains coming to Waterloo spoiled all of it.  
  
Young Exile (Slightly confused)  
Yes sir.  
  
Exile  
Well, maybe I didn't learn everything from him.  
  
Napoleon  
Well anyway, the carriage is waiting to take you to BUSINESS. For, it is zhe Frence way!  
  
XL766 taps on the window. Napoleon walks up to it and opens it. XL766 whispers into Napoleon's ear.  
  
Napoleon  
We, we, we. Ah, we.  
  
Napoleon walks back over to young Exile.  
  
Napoleon  
My mistake, it is zhe Bristish way.  
  
Vixy  
Shall we go to another Christmas memory?  
  
Setting: Infront of the Fuzzywig's office building. Vixy and Exile are right in front of it. XL766 and Kouv are  
on the ladder, lighting a street lamp.  
  
XL766  
And Scrooge found himself at his orginal employer's building, Mr. Fuzzywig.  
  
Kouv, not paying attention, accidently lights his hand on fire.  
  
Kouv (Paniced)  
Ah, XL766, I'm on fire!  
  
XL766  
Calm down.  
  
XL766 looks around and sees a barrel of water underneath them. XL766 pushes Kouv into.  
  
Vixy  
Do you remember this?  
  
Exile (Excited)  
Of couse I doski! This is Mr.Fuzzywig's building!  
  
Vixy (Sarcastic)  
Whoopie, he remembers something. Let's go inside, I only have you for ten more minutes.  
  
Setting: Inside the Fuzzywig's. There's a massive Christmas Party going on. A young Exile approaches Corelone.  
Vixy and Exile enter.  
  
Young Exile (Concerned)  
Mr. Fuzzywig, do you have any idea how much money this party is going to cost?  
  
Corlone (Thick Italian accent)  
Ah, Ebenezer, do not worry about financle problems now. It's Christmas, go and mingle.  
  
XL766 walks in, with a frozen Kouv over his shoulder.  
  
XL766 (Annoyed)  
I swear you're such a whosie.  
  
Kouv (Frozen, mad)  
Urge to kill rising....  
  
XL766 sits Kouv next to a fire. Amber walks by and winks at XL766.  
  
XL766 (To Kouv, sarcastic)  
I'm going to go take a small 'break'. When you unthaw, take over narrating duty until I get back.  
  
XL766 follows Amber out of the scene.  
  
Exile is looking around the party until Vixy gives him a hard elbow.  
  
Exile  
Oh, what was that forski?  
  
Vixy (Pointing to Diamond)  
I was going to ask you who's that?  
  
Exile  
That's Belle.  
  
Corelone (Introducing Exile to Diamond)  
Ebenezer, I would like you to meet Belle. She is a friend of the Family.  
  
Diamond  
Hello Ebenezer.  
  
Young Exile  
Hello Belleski. Oh, I mean Belle.  
  
Diamond giggles.  
  
XL766 walks back into the scene, his face covered with lipstick.  
  
XL766  
Ok Kouv, what did I miss?  
  
Kouv (Sarcastic)  
I think I should be asking that question.  
  
Vixy  
Shall we go to another Christmas memory with Belle?  
  
Exile (Upset)  
No spiritski, please.  
  
Setting: Snow covered park. A Young Exile is walking next to Diamond. Vixy and Exile appear.  
  
Young Exile  
Well Belleski, I was able to foreclose some low class houses to get us more money.  
  
Diamond  
Ebenezer, there's something I need to tell you?  
  
Young Exile (Concerned)  
Is it about financial problems?  
  
Diamond  
No, it's about us.  
  
Young Exile (Realived)  
Phew.  
  
Diamond  
Ebenezer, it's over.  
  
Young Exile (Confused)  
What's over?  
  
Diamond  
Our relationship, all you care about is money, you speak nothing of us.  
  
Young Exile (Confused)  
What do you mean? Money is what keeps us from living on the streetsski?  
  
Diamond (Upset)  
Oh, just forget about it.  
  
Diamond walks off, crying. Young Exile is still confused.  
  
Exile (Mad)  
Why spirit? Why have you shown me this?  
  
Vixy (Sarcastic)  
Well duh, it's to show you that you've totally screwed up in life.  
  
Vixy looks at her watch.  
  
Vixy  
Well, it's almost two. It's time for you to meet the next spirit. And remember, you created these memories yourself.  
  
Setting: Inside Scrooge's room. Exile walks up and looks around. Everything is the same, except the clock is at  
one fifty-six.  
  
Setting: Scrooge's backyard. XL766 (without lipstick on his face) and Kouv are in the yard.  
  
XL766  
And Scrooge found himself once more, alone in his room. Sorry we weren't in that last scene folks.  
  
Kouv (Sarcastic)  
XL766 had to wipe the lipstick off.  
  
XL766  
At least I've got a girlfriend Mister Trying To Hit on Rebel's Girlfriend.  
  
Kouv (Mad)  
HEY! I never knew she was going out with him! And besides, I'm going out with Sheila!  
  
XL766 (Sarcastic)  
What Sheila sees in you, I'll never know.  
  
Kouv (Mad)  
Same thing goes for Amber, she's deserves way better than you!  
  
XL766 opens his mouth to say a come back, but Exile opens up the window.  
  
Exile (Mad)  
Will you two shut upski!  
  
Exile slams the window close.  
  
Setting: Inside Scrooge's room. Exile turns around and sees Taco (in giant form).  
  
Taco (Hispanic accent)  
Hola, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present come and meet me better amigo.  
  
Exile (Confused)  
I didn't know Mexicans celebrated Christmas.  
  
Taco (Annoyed)  
Ever hear of Feliz Navidad? Anyway, touch my robe and we'll get started.  
  
Setting: Outside of Fred's house, Christmas Day. Taco and Exile appear outside of the house. XL766 and Kouv  
are across the street.  
  
XL766  
Scrooge found himself in front of his newphew Fred's house.  
  
Kouv (Mad)  
Screw this part, I'm not going near Krista and Rebel's house.  
  
Kouv stomps off the scene.  
  
XL766 (Sarcastic)  
You see, there is a God.  
  
Taco  
Do you know who's casa this is?  
  
Exile  
Of courseski, it's Fred's.  
  
Taco  
Si, let's go inside.  
  
Taco leads Exile in.  
  
Setting: Inside Fred's house, dining room. Rebel and Krista are eating Christmas Dinner.  
  
Krista (Scottish Accent)  
So I guess your uncle's not coming.  
  
Rebel (Sarcastic)  
No, he'd rather count his money, again.  
  
Krista (Laughing)  
You really shouldn't speak so lowly of your own uncle.  
  
Rebel  
You're right, Scrooge isn't that bad when he's not talking about money.  
  
Krista (Confused)  
But Scrooge always talks about money.  
  
Rebel (Smug)  
Exactly.  
  
Both Rebel and Krista laugh. Exile looks upset.  
  
Exile (Upset)  
Let's go spirit.  
  
Taco  
Ok, we have another casa to visit.  
  
Setting: Outside of Bob Cratchit's house. Taco and Exile appear outside of it. Once more, XL766 is across the  
street.  
  
XL766  
Scrooge then found himself in a poor side of town and in front of the house of Bob Crachit.  
  
Exile  
Where are weski?  
  
Taco  
We are at Bob Crachit's casa. Come on, let's go in.  
  
Taco and Exile walk in.  
  
Setting: Inside of Bob Cratchit's house. Colleen is cooking a turkey the size of a parrot. Hunter walks in and walks  
through Exile and Taco.  
  
Hunter (Happy)  
Hi Sara.  
  
Colleen (Happy, British Accent)  
Hi Bob.  
  
Lucky (In crutches) hobbles in. Exile smiles at him.  
  
Lucky (Happy)  
Daddy!  
  
Lucky hobbles over to Hunter and hugs him. Lucky then begins to cough. Hunter and Colleen give a concerned  
look.  
  
Hunter (Worried)  
Calm down son. Are ready to eat?  
  
Colleen  
Yes, Tim, why don't you go set the table.  
  
Lucky  
Ok.  
  
Lucky hobbles over to the table and sets it. Hunter sits down and Colleen brings over the turkey. Lucky sits down.  
  
Hunter  
Shall I say a prayer?  
  
Colleen nods her head 'yes'.  
  
Hunter (Praying)  
May everyone have a Merry Christmas and God bless them.  
  
Lucky (Praying, Happy)  
God bless us, everyone!  
  
Hunter (Raising his glass)  
To Scrooge, the founder of the feast.  
  
Colleen (Mad)  
Scrooge, the founder of the feast? You mean: 'Scrooge, the man who works you like a slave'. Why I oughta give  
him such a kick...  
  
Hunter (Interrupting)  
Sara please, Tim. Besides, without the money I get from him we wouldn't be having this feast at all.  
  
Lucky (Raising his glass)  
To Scrooge, the founder of the feast!  
  
Colleen (Calming down. raising her glass)  
To Scrooge, may he be happy with his money, blah, blah, blah.  
  
Exile  
Tell me spirit, will Tim liveski?  
  
Taco  
No, veo una silla vacía donde Tim se sienta.  
  
Exile (Confused)  
Eh?  
  
Taco  
Sorry, I meant no, I see an empty chair where Tim sits. But if he's going to die he better hurry and lower the surplus  
population. Now it's time for us to go.  
  
Taco and Exile disappear.  
  
Setting: Graveyard. Taco and Exile reappear. XL766 pokes his head out from behind a grave.  
  
XL766  
And we that thought in his head, Scrooge followed the Ghost of Chritmas Present.  
  
Kouv comes running back into the scene.  
  
Kouv (Annoyed)  
Why didn't you tell me that we had left Rebel's house?  
  
XL766 (Smug)  
You never asked, no sit down and shut up.  
  
Exile (Confused)  
Spirit, why are we hereski?  
  
Taco  
Because it is time for me to go and for you to meet the finial spirit. Go and know him better amigo.  
  
Taco slowly disappears, leaving Exile alone.  
  
Kouv (Scared)  
Wait a minute, isn't this the freaky part with the Ghost of Christmas Future?  
  
XL766  
Yeah, why?  
  
Kouv (Scared)  
Well then, I'm outta here. This guy freaks me out. Besides, it's pretty self-explainitory anyway.  
  
XL766  
Come on you wimp.  
  
A black swirling vortex appears in front of Exile.  
  
XL766 (Sarcastic)  
On second, I could use some more 'personal time' with Amber. We'll see you folks at the finale.  
  
XL766 and Kouv walk out of the scene. Out of the vortex, a cloaked shape lands in front of Exile.  
  
Exile (Sacred)  
Are you the spirit I was told aboutski?  
  
The spirit shakes his head yes and points into the vortex. Exile and the spirit walk in it.  
  
Setting: Bob Cratchit's House. The spirit and Exile appear in front of it.  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Thank you spiritski.  
  
The spirit points at the house. Exile walks in.  
  
Setting: Inside Bob Cratchit's house. Hunter and Colleen are sitting at the dinner table. Colleen is on the verge  
of tears and Hunter just looks upset.  
  
Hunter (Trying to comfort Colleen)  
Sara, life is full of meetings and partings. And Tim's parting (A tear comes down his face) was one we knew  
would happen and now, he's in a far better place.  
  
Colleen (Crying)  
What do you mean 'better place'? We could hardly afford a proper burial for him!  
  
Colleen puts her head against the table and burts into tears. Hunter begins to cry as well. A tear comes down  
Exile's eye.  
  
Exile  
Tell me spirit, why do they not have moneyski?  
  
The spirit waves his hand and they disappear.  
  
Setting: Graveyard. Exile and the spirit appear in front of a grave. The spirit points at it.  
  
Exile  
Tell me spiritski, are these the images of things that will or things that might?  
  
The spirit once more, points at the grave.  
  
Exile  
Spiritski, a dog can chage can't he?  
  
The spirit points an annoyed finger at the grave.  
  
Exile  
And if a dog can change, so can all of this.  
  
The spirit angrily points both hands at the grave. Exile turns to the grave and sees "Ebenezer Scrooge" on it.  
Exile turns to the spirit.  
  
Exile  
No, this cannot be true.  
  
Exile falls to his knees and begins to cry.  
  
Exile (Crying)  
I'm sorry spiritski, I'm sorry for everything.  
  
Exile accidently pulls off the spirit's cloaking, revealing Tramp.  
  
Exile (Surprised)  
Trampski?  
  
Tramp (Mad)  
Man, I was SO close to having a serious role, but NO, you just had to pull off my cloak didn't you? Oh, well,  
it's time for you to go back.  
  
Setting: Scrooge's room. Exile wakes up and looks around.  
  
Exile (Happy)  
It was dreamski. Oh thank you spirits! I'll keep Christmas in the past, the present, and the future. I've got so much  
to doski!  
  
Setting: Side of Scrooge's house. XL766 and Kouv are on a ladder next to Scrooge's window.  
  
XL766  
And Scrooge awoken a new dog. Hey folks, we're back just like we said we would be.  
  
Kouv (Worried)  
Are you sure it's safe up here? I mean, remember what happened last time?  
  
XL766  
Hey, Scrooge is a changed dog, what's the worst that could happen?  
  
Exile opens up the window, knocking Kouv and XL766 off.  
  
Exile (Pointing at CJ)  
Tell me boy, what day is thisski?  
  
CJ (Confused)  
Why, it's Christmas.  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Oh boy, I didn't miss it! The spirits did it all in one night, spirits can do that you know.  
  
CJ (Confused)  
Umm, yeah.  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Tell me boy, is that turkey still at the butcher shop?  
  
CJ (Confused)  
You mean the one that's almost as big has me? Yes sir, it's still there.  
  
Exile (Happy, throwing two bags of money at CJ)  
Excellent, here's two bags of money. One's for you to buy the turkey for me, the other is for a job well done.  
  
CJ looks confused for a second, and then realizes what Exile said. CJ smiles and picks up the money.  
  
CJ (Happy)  
Yes sir, where do you want me to take the turkey to?  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Take it to Bob Cratchit's house.  
  
Setting: Out in the street. Exile is greeting everyone he meets by saying 'Merry Christmas'. XL766 and Kouv are  
following him.  
  
XL766  
So Scrooge set out to do everything he could and greet everyone with a 'Merry Christmas'.  
  
Exile turns around to XL766 and Kouv.  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Merry Christmas!  
  
Exile turns around and runs into Bud and Shag. Shag jumps behind Bud and whines.  
  
Bud (Unsure)  
Uh, Merry Christmas, Mr. Scrooge.  
  
Exile (Stern)  
Tell meski, are you two still collecting for charity?  
  
Bud (Unsure)  
Yes sir.  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Well then, put me down for....  
  
Exile whispers into Bud's ear. Bud looks shocked and his ears perk up.  
  
Bud (Amazed)  
That much sir?!?!  
  
Exile (Happy)  
And not a penny less. Merry Christmas.  
  
Bud (Still amazed)  
Yes, Merry Christmas.  
  
Shag shakes Exile's hand. Exile continues down the street until he runs into Rebel.  
  
Rebel (Surprised)  
Ah, Merry Christmas Uncle.  
  
Exile (Stern)  
Merry Christmas, ba humbug. Tell me Fred, are you and Clara still having Christmas dinner?  
  
Rebel  
Yes Uncle.  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Well then, is it still too late for me to join you?  
  
Rebel (Shocked)  
You really mean it Uncle?  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Of course I do, I'll see you later Fred.  
  
CJ (carrying a giant turkey)  
Shall we go sir?  
  
Exile (Happy)  
Yes, follow meski!  
  
Setting: Outside of Bob Cratchit's House. Exile makes CJ duck out of sight. Exile sternly knocks on the door.  
Hunter answers?  
  
Hunter (Surprised, Scared)  
Oh, hello sir.  
  
Exile (Stern)  
Mr. Cratchit, why were you not at work today?  
  
Hunter (Scared)  
Well sir, you told me I could have the whole day off.  
  
Exile (Stern)  
I said no such thing.  
  
Colleen steps out in between Exile and Hunter.  
  
Colleen (Mad)  
Look here Scrooge, I've had about enough of you coming around here pushing Bob around!  
  
Hunter (Scared)  
Sara, please control yourself.  
  
Exile (Stern)  
What if I were to say that I was about to make Bob my partner and increase his pay?  
  
Colleen (Mad)  
What if I were to kick your bloody a... What did you say?  
  
Exile (Happy)  
I wish to make Bob my partner and increase his pay. Now, I also have a turkey for you.  
  
Exile waves his hand and CJ comes in with the giant turkey. They all go inside. XL766 and Kouv walk into the  
scene.  
  
XL766  
And with that, Scrooge became a better dog than he ever was.  
  
Kouv (Worried)  
And what about Tim?  
  
XL766  
And as for Tim, who did NOT die, (Kouv smiles) Scrooge became like a second father to him. And as Tim put,  
God bless us, everyone. (Sarcastic) Now enough of this crap, Kouv, let's go get the Howitzer and hunt down  
Jack the Ripper!  
  
Kouv (Happy)  
Aye, aye, captian.  
  
The End 


End file.
